Women took their own part in the life of the Regiment, as well as whores found in houses of ill-repute around all camps, women and children could be found in the camp.

Some men craved strong drink and some salvation, but all felt the need for sex. One officer said of the men 'As for the other ranks - it is a fact that prostitutes and loose women always follow the drum.' And this was true enough. There were always prostitutes living near permanent army barracks and they were always ready to welcome the Regiments. It was impossible to prohibit prostitution and many officers thought that an army without prostitutes available was likely, in a very short time, to become a menace rather than a safeguard. In some parts of the world the army supervised brothels for the troops and the girls working in them were inspected by medical officers on a regular basis.

As venereal diseases were endemic among the rank and file, a disproportionate number of soldiers were in hospital because they had 'caught a packet'. Even after the worth of female nurses was proven it was thought unseemly for young women to nurse men with venereal diseases. Thus the number of female nurses was restricted and remained low throughout the Victorian era.

When Regiments remained in one location for a prolonged period soldiers found mistresses among local women and as time passed children would be born. however, this usually meant that, if the Regiment moved, the women and children would be left behind. This was because, as they were nor married, the women were 'not on the Strength'. Few, if any, of the women or soldiers possessed the money to transport the woman and any children. Other ranks needed permission from their Commanding Officer to marry, and only a certain number were allowed to do so. This depended on the Regiment (more cavalrymen were allowed to marry than Infantry), rank (more NCOs were allowed to marry than privates), possession of good conduct badges and savings in the bank. Commanding Officers discouraged marriage by other ranks. A man who married without permission had a hard time for his wife and children were denied quarters of any sort and were given no rations.

Women 'on the Strength' (those with permission to marry) had the 'privilege' of washing for their respective companies. These wives were granted pay (usually about half that of the soldiers) and a food ration. Some worked as cooks or did needlework; the more respectable were selected to be maids or nursemaids  in Officer's homes. Until the last half of the Victorian Era they usually lived in barracks with the men, their home a corner screened off with blankets or canvas sheets. It was only in the latter part of the nineteenth century that the army built separate married quarters.

Some people felt that the presence of women was unnecessary and objectionable, but mostly it was felt that the men would be disgruntled if the women did not accompany them to do the cooking, washing, sewing and to serve 'other purposes for which women naturally go with the army'. When the army went to war, no woman not on the strength was taken along and not even all of those 'on the strength' were taken, though all were eager to go rather than be left to fend for themselves. Who would go and who would stay were determined by lot, the drawing of which was attended by all, the men cheering when a popular wife drew a 'to go' slip and groaning when an unpopular wife drew one. Some wives who drew 'not to go' slips tried to stow on board the troopships but they were always detected.

In the days when flogging was common, women in the Regiments were also flogged. They were also put in stocks or tumbled in a whirligig (a revolving  cage). Sometimes, when the Regiment was abroad a woman would be punished by being shipped home. By the middle of he Victorian era other punishments had disappeared but a woman could still be struck off the Strength.

Women who were widowed usually stayed with the regiment and usually quickly remarried. This was of necessity, as the Regiment would only support them for one month after the death of their husband, after which they had to either have a new husband or find their own way in the world. A story is told of one soldier's widow who was proposed to by  a Colour Sergeant the moment she returned from her husband's burial. She burst into tears, not because the Colour sergeant had been too hasty, but, because on the way back from the cemetery she accepted a Corporal, thereby acquiring a Corporal when she could have had a Colour Sergeant. A good woman on the strength had no trouble finding a new husband. Men were plentiful and women few, and for the woman marriage provided some security. Not all widows remarried however, some chose prostitution, especially if they had been promiscuous. Whoring brought in more money than doing an officer's laundry.

There were usually more children than women in barracks, in spite of the high rate of infant mortality. The boys dress in cast-off bits of uniforms and quickly learned to swear, drink gin and beer, smoke clay pipes and to cause all sorts of mischief. although the barracks did not provide the most civilized environment many Regiments hired schoolmasters and  maintained schools. In its own rough fashion regiments took care of their own. Even orphans stayed with the Regiment, petted and abused  by the soldiers and the women. Girls grew up to marry soldiers and boys became drummers or buglers at an early age and then soldiers themselves.

Officers had their own courting and mating customs. Unless an Officer had substantial independent means marriage to a girl without money was impossible. It was believed that an Officer ought not take a wife until he knew what to do with her. Young Officers were urged to benefit from mixing in Ladies' society. However, it was not recommended that young officers fall in love. The rule of thumb was that Subaltarns may not marry, Captains might marry, Majors should marry and Lieutenant-Colonels must marry.

Sometimes when an Officer reached a suitable age and rank he concluded it was time to marry and he should find a suitable mate. Some fixed limits on the amount they would spend wooing any woman. Most Officers regarded their women much as they did their troops, with affection and condescension. Given a choice between women and war, officers usually chose war. Wherever a Regiment was deployed an Officer's wife was able to accompany them. Women of the upper classes were not mere sex objects or means for producing heirs, many were valued for the influence their position in society brought.

Although Officer's wives and other ranks wives were sisters under the skin it was not generally recognized. The difference was officially expressed in the phrase 'Officers' Ladies and wives of other ranks'. Moreover, this distinction was not confined to the Army but ran throughout Victorian Society.

Historical records show that many of the families were related. Daughters of one soldier being married to other soldiers in the same Regiment and some wives being married to and and having children by several soldiers. It was more usual for the children to stay within the Regiment either by enlisting or marriage.